just like a dog whenever I walk home at night I growl - very loudly instead of offering to buy a girl a drink I throw water in her face and yell 'tsunami!' when a girl looks over and smiles at me in a bar I tell her she has nice tits and grab her by the crotch when I get my heart broken I ask out every girl I know dropping lines in the water like any good fisherman when I feel a girl twist a knife deep inside my heart I laugh maniacally and thank god I'm in love when I go to watch my friend act in the vagina monologues all I can think about is playing with her vagina when I am denounced for being a mysogynist pig I am comforted by knowing something has embraced me when I get lap dances from a young girl with braces I don't try to save her soul I ask her for another dance when I take a girl home after just meeting her I skin my knees on her porch getting to know her better when I meet a girl I like I try to piss her off knowing that just being nice is not very interesting when I'm lost - really lost and my heart just can't live without seeing her face again I write a poem to remind me when I'm all alone at night passing time at the ale house I laugh to myself knowing that I hate to love women and when I truly love someone I just roll over playfully and show her my belly - just like a dog